Finally... Four!

Well, they're set. The four remaining teams in NCAA March Madness: Duke and, er.. three other teams. Just kidding. Congratulations to Butler, Michigan State and West Virginia. Great job. You've got the sports world in a turmoil. You ruined everyone's bracket. You took office workers' chance of winning money, prizes or maybe time off. These worker ants mill around in their mundane existence day after day, trolling for any fun they can get. Every March brings the office pool for the tournament. Most of them wouldn't know a basketball from a buckeye, much less a Spartan from a Mountaineer, but they cling to the chance to have 3 minutes of fame and a $47 kitty. Oh well, back inside your cubicle, Edgar, because Syracuse and Kansas State are out. The final question: will anyone watch? History says no. We say we love underdogs and great stories in sports, but ratings research shows the talk doesn't translate to the tube. So who is this year's biggest loser? Edgar, you and your cubicle mate can rest easy because the ones really crying... CBS.

DNF-Danica Not Friendly

Goodbye, Danica Patrick, goodbye. Your three-race stint in NASCAR was newsworthy, but for reasons I'm sure you would rather forget. Most will not miss you. They may not say it, but they will not miss you. Look, it's not that we dislike a female in the sport or that we think you're not a good driver. In fact, most of us think you're pretty good. The point is, we just don't like you. And it's not like you're the first female driver, there's been plenty before you. It's not me it's you. You came into the sport with an attitude. Not a "I'm a great driver and I'm gonna prove myself against the best" attitude. More like, "I deserve to win races because I'm a woman and GoDaddy.com sponsors me". Frankly, we're tired of all of it. Your sponsor, whose commercials appeal to men superficially, is wearing on us in a bad way. Your attitude, your spoiled brat attitude, well, that wore out a long time ago. You whine, you blame, you pass buck, you frown.... come on, smile once in a while. Show us you love the sport and you really want to compete, even if DNF comes to mean Danica Not Finish for the first year or two. Just ask Junior. It's not who you are it's what you do. Be a great ambassador for the sport, it sure needs it. And please get a new sponsor... really.